A smart Harry's reaction to the prophecy and other funny one-shots
by O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s
Summary: I know that the wizarding world was panicking and they were afraid of Voldemort but the prophecy wasn't exact this story is about how a smart Harry would have reacted to hearing the prophecy and other things that would have happened had Harry been smart
1. Chapter 1 Harry Hears the Prophecy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else mentioned in this story**

"Okay so you actually think that prophecy is about me and Voldemort?" asked Harry.

"I am afraid so Harry" replied Dumbledore.

"Well than you really are as crazy as Malfoy thinks you are."

"My reasons for thinking this well I will go through them line by line."

"_The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches"_

"First, did it say Voldemort? No it didn't. Then, even if it was about us vanquish doesn't mean to kill it means to defeat."

Dumbledore was speechless.

"Nothing to say? I thought so. Next line then. _Born to those who have thrice defied him."_

"That you got right although they didn't have to face him in battle thrice. They could have just not agreed with him like this, 'can I have it' 'no' 'please' 'no' 'pretty please' no' there you go you have defied him three times."

"_Born as the seventh month dies."_

"Okay seventh month from what? Also, which calendar are we talking about it could have been the effing Mayan calendar but did you check? No you didnt"

"It also could have been September. What number does September represent? Seven. What is the dying parts of a fire called? Embers. September."

Dumbledore was starting to look decidedly uncomfortable.

"Let's carry on then, _and the dark lord will mark him as his equal"_

"I may have been marked physically but you can't really deny that Neville Longbottom was marked mentally when he saw his parents tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange who was doing so on Voldemort's orders"

_"But he will have power that the dark lord knows not"_

"I know you think the power is love but that is unknown to both of us. You made sure of thy when you placed me with the Dursleys."

"_And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives"_

"That line is just rubbish if you think it is about me. Obviously I am still alive right now and I was alive for a year before Voldemort came after me."

_"The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord will be born as the seventh month dies"_

"We already went through that part and I will be going back to my common room because I have had a very trying day. Goodbye."

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	2. Chapter 2 The Troll

"Everyone head back to your common rooms"told Dumbledore firmly.

"Don't do it "said Harry standing up "He is sendingus to our deaths. If the troll caught up with all of us do you really think that they could stop it? Professor Quirrel clearly said that the troll was in the dungeons and I know that the Slytherin common room is in the dungeons. Maybe some of the Slytherins are right and that you are a senile old fool. "

"Mr. Potter that will be detentions with me for a week for insulting the headmaster Professor Mcgonagal said.

Before Harry could say anything more he was stunned and dragged to be forced to go back to his common room.

Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, and Penelope Clearwater died that day.

Dumbledore was fired and sent to Azkaban and the new headmaster was Proffesor Mcgonagal.

Without Hermiones help Ron failed his first year and had to redo three times! Harry without Ron holding him back went on to become Headboy. Voldemort on the back of Quirell's head was caught by surprise when the new headmaster hired the goblins to redo the wards to keep out and severley hurt anyone who meant the students harm.

The End


	3. Chapter 3 the wand

"Curious very,very curious." Ollivander was saying.

"The Pheonix that gave a feather for this wand also gave one other feather. It is in the wand that Lord Voldemort used to use."

"You must be destined for great things."

"Voldemort did great but terrible things."

"That doesn't make sense. A pheonix is a light creature and Voldemort was dark, right?" asked Harry.

Ollivander nodded.

"Than how is he able to use a feather for it once he became dark?" "Either he got a new wand probably or he isn't really dark."

"I never thought about it that way Mister Potter.I Hope you will be in Ravenclaw, my old house, when you get to Hogwarts."Ollivander said.

" Um could you not tell anyone about my wand and Voldemort because I don't want anyone thinking I am a reincarnation of him?" harry asked.

"Sure"Ollivander replied. "Have a nice day!"


End file.
